All leaders, at every level, have insecurities. Of course they do – they are human. And yet so many feel the need to portray an air of ease, comfort, competence and control, when in reality they feel lonely, unsupported and scared of being ‘found out’. Maybe this is a deliberate ‘fake it before you make it’ strategy? Perhaps it is an unfortunate construct arising from societal expectations? Or is it there as a defence shield of sorts? Whatever the reason, it is nearly always just an illusion of perfection, and it is damaging in several ways. The potential for mental health side effects from maintaining the illusion and starving yourself of support are obvious. But it is this artificial façade of perfection that fundamentally weakens performance. There are many reasons that leaders may feel insecure, and I have tried to look behind the reasons that these insecurities exist.
High expectations. Leaders face high expectations from themselves and others. They feel pressure to perform at a consistently high level and fear falling short. This self-imposed pressure makes it difficult to address and overcome their insecurities.
Fear of vulnerability. Admitting to and addressing insecurities requires vulnerability, which is commonly difficult for leaders, as they feel they are expected to project confidence and strength. "Will acknowledging my insecurities undermine my authority or make me appear weak?"
It’s lonely at the top. Leaders bear the weight of decisions and responsibility on their shoulders. They may feel isolated and unable to share their insecurities with their employees or peers. The lack of a support system or fear of being judged can make it harder for them to seek help.
Fear of failure and consequences. Leaders fear the consequences of failure, as their decisions have significant impacts on their organisations and their employees. Will their insecurities hinder their decision-making abilities and lead to negative outcomes? This fear creates a vicious cycle of self-doubt and insecurity.
Perceived lack of time. Leaders, consumed by the demands of their roles, are left with limited time and energy to focus on their personal growth and addressing their insecurities. Immediate responsibilities get prioritised over 'self', perpetuating the insecurities.
Pressure to project confidence. Leaders are expected to exude confidence and inspire trust in their teams. They fear that admitting insecurities will be seen as a sign of weakness and erode confidence in them. This makes it hard to confront and address their insecurities.
Overcoming these challenges requires self-awareness and a willingness to seek help and support. Business leaders can benefit from coaching, mentoring, networking with peers, and engaging in personal development activities to address their insecurities and enhance their leadership abilities.
And if you aspire to be one of tomorrow’s leaders, don’t fall for the Great Perfection Con.
I try to meet with, virtually or in person, lots of my business and coaching contacts, and I find this an effective way of keeping up to date with the latest relevant issues. It also helps to ‘ground’ me and encourage me to check in with my own work and approach. Along the way I have lots of discussions about leadership which inevitably entails wildly differing views and opinions.
Out of the proliferation of remote work during and after COVID, a new challenge for organisations has emerged: many important skills are not easily, or cannot be, nurtured through screens. In the traditional office environment, the subtle yet powerful process of learning osmotically plays a critical role. Leaders model behaviours, and employees, often subconsciously, absorb crucial skills such as adaptability, emotional intelligence, and intuitive decision-making. Even resilience can be enhanced through witnessing other people’s coping mechanisms.
Reflecting on what I feel makes a leader truly great, I realise that leadership is generally misunderstood. It should not be about rank or authority;